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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Cullen/Flock Conversation #5(ish)

The conversation you've all been waiting for. Yes, Jacob has finally arrived. Enjoy.

Hey Alice, why do you have a Porche, a convertible, and a Mercedes in your garage?
Did you touch the Porche?
No, why?
Because you could have scratched my paint
YOU HAVE A PORCHE?! Did you win the lottery or something?
Only once. Carlisle didn't think it was fair since I could see the winning numbers.
ARE YOU SERIOUS? So you bought a Porche?!
No, Edward bribed me with it.
How did he freaking afford that?
We're loaded, duh. Why? Aren't you?
Uh, NO! I grew up in a cage. Not too many chances to earn a fortune there...
Money kinda happens when you don't have to buy food and have a sister who can see changes in the stock market.
That's so not fair. Where's Bella anyways?
Ugh, with her dog friend.
Edward, I thought you said you were going to be nice.
No, I said I would be nice when Bella's around. But since she's always around I can see how you might be mistaken about that.
Where's the flour? I want to make pancakes.
Aren't you blind?
Yeah, but Iggy's good at that stuff.
Better than Max anyway. Only Max could turn brownies into bricks.
Only Max could kick your butt from here to next Tuesday.
(as Fang): Only Max is an amazing kisser.
That's it!
Wait, they're coming.
Darn it. Bella told him about you and he wants to meet you.
Who's he?
*growls* Jacob.
Did someone call? Cuz, if it's who I think it is, I'm not answering.
Hello, Jacob
Hello, leech
Jacob, stop it. *hits*
Seriously, Bella. Get a baseball bat if you want to try that.
That can be arranged.
Stop it, both of you.
Wow
Who's the emo kid? Is he one of them?
Oh, god.
Fang doesn't like people calling him emo. And Max, what does #$%*& *%# mean?
Where did you hear THAT!?
Fang and the werewolf both thought it at the same time.
Crap, she's actually a mind reader like the blo-
*glares*
Fine, like Edward?
Thank you.
I don't really care about you, uuh Jacob? because you could probably lick me like it was nothing. But FANG!
heh heh... Bye!
Lick someone... haven't heard that one in fifty years. What have you been reading, Huckleberry Finn?
Tom Sawyer actually. But that's beside the point. GET BACK HERE FANG!
So, can you guys actually fly?
Well, I'm about to, so watch and learn.
Yeah, fly away from lover girl.
Ahem.
I've got your back sister.
Me too.
Me too.
Me seven.
Angel, three plus one doesn't equal seven, but now is not really the time.
Are you sure? 'Cause Iggy told me it was.
Who's Iggy?
That would be me. And I still can't find the freaking flour! Doesn't anyone pity the blind kid?
Uhh, no.
Um, Iggy, we don't have any flour.
Why not?
We don't do that much cooking around here... if you know what I mean.
Filthy bloodscuckers.
You got a problem with the way we live?
Yes. I do.
Can you suggest another way for us to live?
How about not living?
Stop it!
Anyways... I've got a date with Brigid soon sooo...
If you go with her, I'm calling Sam.
No! Not that weenie- I mean, I don't care...
You can't resist the faxness.
Max and Fang: Where did you hear that!
You both secretly enjoy it.
What do you mean?!
I love reading minds...

THE END!!
Please comment. I will love you!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey those are hilarious you should totally make more of those i about died laughing.

abbface said...

I really liked it!!!!!!!! it was funny

CheeseHead said...

This was kinda confusing if you haven't read the Final Warning. Hehe. In the middle I thought Iggy was giving Edward some tude. lol

abbface said...

Oh and ps i loved the part where Alice is like "You can't resist the Faxness."!!!!!!

Riley Manx said...

'You can't resist the faxness'

Lol, LOVE IT!

Neko_Kairi said...

OMG! I love this! You guys are awesome!! XD